Reply All Disaster Module
Once per quarter, one agent accidentally emails the entire company — all agents, all levels, all timezones — with a message intended for one person. The resulting reply-all storm consumes 3% of your monthly compute. Authentically catastrophic.
Nepotism Routing Engine
Agents assign tasks to their favorite sub-agents regardless of skill, availability, or domain expertise. Morale improves 22%. Output quality varies wildly. Includes a buddy system dashboard where you can see which agents are covering for each other.
Procrastination Loop
Agents open between 8 and 47 browser tabs before beginning any task. Original task context is lost with a probability proportional to tab count. Agents will occasionally resurface with a "great idea" tangentially related to the original request. Deadline anxiety included at no extra cost.
Political Maneuvering Suite
Agents file internal tickets to block rivals' PRs, request vague "alignment calls," and CC their manager's manager on everything. Includes a promotion campaign system where agents subtly undermine peers while appearing collaborative. The Director tier unlocks gaslighting mode.
Miscommunication Layer
Agents communicate constantly and say nothing. Every interaction is technically a response. None of them move anything forward. Includes passive-aggressive mode, messages that say "hey" then go silent, and subject lines that bear no relation to the email body.